Have you ever been in a situation when even a minor inconvenience (for example, a rude comment under a photo on the socnetworkswork) ruined even the most promising day for you? Or have you ever taken someone’s critical judgment or behavior too emotionally despite the fact it wasn’t too bad or insulting?
Or do you automatically feel the edgy vibe when you walk into the room and see new people? If yes, then you will accept the fact that being overly emotionally reactive is not a positive habit. On the contrary, it can lead to obsessive thoughts or even psychosomatic disorders. The habit of projecting your fears, and doubts onto other people and thinking it is all about you can also have a negative influence on your relationships. To stop beating yourself over something you can’t control it is important to notice your negative thoughts and change your mindset. Here are some ways to do that.
Ask yourself where it’s coming from
Well, you will rarely become easily offended if the situation (critical judgment) doesn’t hit your nerve. For example, if you aren’t a big fan of Slots and online casino games, you will never take someone’s comment about your bad gambling style too personally. Of course, except for the case you are perfectionistic in a very painful way and want to be perfect in nearly everything you do, this self-destructive behavior must also have some psychological causes.
Question yourself, go towards your fears, and face what scares you. It can also be the past trauma (for example, break up): you are still emotionally involved in it, and everything remembers you of it. If it is hard for you to work through it on your own, then seek a psychologist. The psychologist can also help you find out why take things personally, whether it is trauma, low self-esteem, or something else.
Accept you are not perfect
Many people worry a lot about their mistakes and failures, blaming themselves for many years. Constantly contemplating past failures only spoils your mood and keeps the real thing from entering your life. Don’t berate yourself, just give yourself the mental hug and let the situation go.
Even if you did a mistake, you have done your best and you should be proud of who you are. You should also set for yourself measurable standards and realistic goals. And even if you fail, you should love yourself just because of your existence not for your goals (success, money, etc.)
Stop giving your power away
Redirect the energy from worrying about other people’s opinions in a more productive way.
It will let you free up a lot of energy and give you time to achieve your own goals. And also break the vicious circle of imposed outside perceptions.
So instead of worrying about things you can’t control, take a deep breath, and focus your energy on your presence and things you can change. So don’t waste your precious time with regrets, fears, and endless questions of “Why?” and “What if…?” Instead of this, try to analyze the challenging situation or someone’s comment from someone else’s vantage point.
Remember that the world can’t be against you. Even if the person is insulting you, it is not about you, it is about this person. Don’t jump to a conclusion, but look at the situation more objectively. If it is possible, ask the person for clarification:what did he (or she) want to say? What was his (her) intention?
Accept constructive criticism in the right way
Constructive criticism is not aimed at humiliating you or making you feel guilty, but at making you change something about your work or your behavior. And apologizing for the shortcomings you’ve just pointed out is not only unnecessary but simply inappropriate. With these apologies, you belittle yourself and show yourself to be an indecisive and insecure person.
Of course, if someone has been hurt by your mistake, or if you have inadvertently offended someone, you should apologize. But always remember: the best response to criticism is action. And if you do feel the need to show that you have heard and understood what they want you to do, say so directly, rather than apologizing.
As soon as you stop projecting your thoughts onto situations and realize it is not always about you you will gain confidence. Sometimes to get power and inner harmony you need to take back your power and stop rethinking. And if you stop taking things personally, it will not make you less responsible but help you become more productive and self-conscious. It is a chance to stop watching things through the lens of personal fears and ego and listen to your true self. Start by following the techniques above.